For this New Year’s, I’d like to invite you to do something different.
It’s tradition to take resolutions for the new year - but too often these resolutions are difficult to keep. It’s very common to use resolutions as a way to look at all the things we don’t like about our lives, and then to try to change them.
It’s tough to find motivation when our intention for change is based on self-criticism. We’re more likely to find shame in failure than we are of getting bliss from success.
So for this New Year, why not drop resolutions as a way to try to improve yourself?
I’d like to invite you instead in finding something beautiful and wonderful in your life, a natural gift of yours - something which is unique to you and which you feel expresses the truth of your deeper self.
And then rather than a resolution, set an intention to grow and attract more of that good stuff in your life.
What about the bad stuff you’d normally set to fix in yourself? Don’t worry about it. The more good stuff comes into your life, the less space there’ll be for the rest.
This is the magic of change as it happens through self-love
If self-love is such a an important topic for me, it's because I struggled with it all my life. It's not easy to accept who we are - and it's way too easy to criticize everything about ourselves.
New Year's resolutions are, in my experience, a perfect example of that: we find something we don't like, we set to change it, we fail, and then we feel shitty about ourselves because of it.
The desire to change and improve ourselves is, in my opinion, something that mostly goes to fuel shame.
Instead of trying to change ourselves - i.e. of looking at the negative in us and then trying to change it - I believe we're much more likely to live a meaningful life by looking at the good stuff in us and focusing on giving that a louder voice.
The bad stuff - whatever that is - will fix itself. The more we love ourselves, the more loving we become. And that love is the ultimate form of self-improvement.
And all we have to do is let it happen... like magic.
We just have to get out of our own way.